Ye'know, I think I crave solitude. Like, honestly, i'd rather be alone then with friends. Even my family, sometimes I think "why do I live with these people, why don't I just leave." Even with my friends i'll feel like they are so boring. So ... different from me. Only when i'm reading a book, or listening to music do I feel ... happy. Honestly, I hope i get into JP. I know, this contradicts what im saying because its like Edmontons largest school but I don't wanna have to be with my "friends" who are going to shep for the rest of my schooling. I think it's not only solitude I like but when I hang out with people, they can't be with only a certian group. Otherwise I get bored. This is also why I don't think i'll ever get married. I honestly don't think I can commit to someone for the rest of my life. I have these desires to leave Edmonton and go to Italy, Japan, Ireland, Chicago, places all over the world. Ever seen Into The Wild? yeah? well, I wanna be that guy, I wanna leave everyone I know, everyone I love, and go to I place on my own. though not Alaska, I haven't chosen where yet but, I think that'll be my life goal. To leave and never come back, to go somewhere i've never been, without people.
I don't know, but, I feel sometimes that I have depression, but, it's different somehow. Like, it's reversed, like i dont want to kill my self, i want to make myself free, and live my life.
That is my ultimate goal.